Apple releases Ipocrates

That’s just friends. After 5 years of intense R&D at Pinneapple Future Laboratory in Palo alto, Apple finally puts at our disposal its most anticipated cachivache. But let’s not go so fast … Ipocrates was born in October 2011 in the bed of Steve Jobs .

In the midst of the agony of the American genius, 37 executives of the company of the apple waited their words crowded. They hoped that the ataxia would further liberate their altered state of consciousness, to give the world its final gift.

It is well known that Jobs said something when he died, but it was not that fake farewell letter nor the famous Oh Wow , Oh WoW, Oh Wow ..

Do not! Too easy, that would not suit her! Instead, Jobs explained for 5 minutes, in a divine synthesis, to an Apple director, his friend Stuart Apple Hardjob , the original idea of Ipocrates.

It was a SoC plate, coupled to the frontal cortex of the brain without surgery. The implantation is performed atom by atom, through the skin, with a portable particle accelerator.

A science fiction device.

Ipocrates goes beyond life and delights us with these functionalities:

The great Jobs, genius and figure up to the grave.

Unfortunately, it’s not all good news, as Jobs left on contract terms tough conditions, which should be subjected to the product, namely:

Apple Ipocrates virtual view. Transneuronal Arizona Institute.

Terrorific consequences for Apple

Before this impossible and prohibitive product, the consequences have been dire:

To date, five hundred and eight Americans , who were in the queue waiting for the stores for 2 months disguised as Iphone, have been suicidal on knowing the price of Ipocrates, the same fate as 306 of the 307 millionaires who bought the product. At the autopsy, it was verified that they had activated the Jobs mode

Likewise, tens of thousands of citizens have begun selling their homes and docking banks and have given at least fifteen hooded attacks to Apple headquarters with machine guns. The use of Prozac in the USA has also increased by 20%.

Complement Playful Eye Clockwork Orange. Source: Apple

FDA (Foods & Drugs & Apple Administration) has changed its name to FDAA (Foods & Drugs & Apple Administration) in the face of criticism, demands and paranoia around the world. the country. This situation has forced the White House to declare DEFCON 2 .

His first measure has been to force Apple to sell the Playful Eye Clockwork Orange, so as not to activate the Jobs mode, until it fixes all the problems.

Reaction of Wizard of Woz

Steve Wozniak , Apple’s co-creator with Jobs and affectionately known by Tito Woz, has been harassed by the American press this week, finally giving a small interview.

In it has declared that it has been one of the buyers, reserving the opinion of if it works well, and ensuring that it has not activated the mode Jobs.