Witches and living dead go on strike this Halloween

Penetration of Halloween party in the land of Old Europe is something unstoppable, no more than take a look at the door of a school these days. However, the enthusiasm with which has been welcomed by children is not shared by all.

The latest addition to the criticism has been the Association of Witches and Undead, which has announced an indefinite strike to protest the involution that, in his view, is suffering the festival.

“Years ago, you would go outside on Halloween and you could do your work, eat children, gutting adults …” says Piruja Martin, spokesman for the group. “It’s different now. There are so many girls witch costumes that you do not know who is who, to make magic potions have to pass quality contro… And what gutting and not speak … I’ve not eaten a child from 75 “.

For these and many other disagreements, the Group has decided not to go out this Halloween. At the moment, they are negotiating with the Ministry of Interior for minimum services.

“We do not see more than 1 gutting per 10,000 registered inhabitants“, says Piruja Martinez. “They will not be drawn cauldrons and invocations to the devil will be limited only to the introductory verses, none of Pentacles or black cats.”

Other groups affected

The group also represents other groups who feel equally marginalized. The undeads are probably the most bleeding.

“It seems that nobody notices the effort of getting out of the tomb being dead,” said Eulogio Exposite, who died in the Glorious Revolution in Madrid in 1868. “So far he bore, but lately no longer can or get someone’s heart with some professionalism. say it is not politically correct.”

Eulogio and his companions remain in their graves this Halloween. So will vampires and bloodsuckers of all races:

“The Twilight saga has done much harm. Before there was respect, dragged them out fangs and people came running scared shitless, as it should be. Now you are taken by a sex symbol and they ask for autographs …” says a vampire in the neighborhood Madrid Alcorcon, who did not want to give his name. “We will make the minimum services because our commander in chief from Transylvania has asked us to keep the guy, but if it was up to me …”

Pumpkins, pissed off

But undoubtedly what most has hurt the authorities, by unexpected, has been the mass protest by pumpkins. They complain that the Halloween party is decimating its population, some speak to genocide, and are willing to resort to violence if necessary.

“We have given the order to carry out indiscriminate attacks against all those who try to open a channel partner to make lanterns, candles will put them in the ass“, says Pumpkin Guevara from Rosario, Argentina. “Let them do the party with melons, but stop take us for idiots.”

While the Prime Minister Theresa May attempts to reach an agreement with the Association against the Parliament,  it has already been put to work to have a plan B if they do not reach an agreement. Pumpkin Brexitia is expected to be sworn in as Prime Minister before the end of the month.