An emoticon, charged with murder

Richard J. Blue, based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, has been charged with murder this morning and locked in the Eastern State Penitentiary awaiting trial.

Richard J. Blue worked on the iPhone Roseanne H. Joy, twenty-two years old, as a crybaby emitocono. At dawn on October 30, Roseanne was chatting with her boyfriend and, wanting to tell her how happy she was to have gotten their first job, did not find her smiling emoticon. Logically, he could not continue the conversation and phoned police.

SWAT went to his home and, after rummaging in the iPhone for more than two hours, found the corpse of the smiling emoticon hidden behind the screen saver He was dismembered, with his tongue and teeth broken and a message written on the floor with blood: “Laugh now, you bastard.”

Psychological profile

Suspicions fell immediately on Richard, the smiley crybaby. According to statements by Roseanne, he never trusted him. It seemed her with disdain, as over his shoulder. Other emoticons moved away from him and the girl confesses that just by looking him she felt down.

Richard has not made any statement, but the prison psychologist, specialized in digital crimes, has spoken. “This case is not an isolated event. We come for some time observing an increase in conflicts between emoticons, and often those responsible are whiners. They feel isolated, ignored“.

According to the psychologist, in today’s digital world happy feelings are the most accepted, creating an unplanned but relentless social oppression on others. In the case of Richard, the psychologist says he hated the rest of smileys to be more popular than him, besides considering them stupid and childish. The target of his hate was the smiling emoticon, he called him on several occasions craven idiot.

Dismay and legal action

Roseanne has been entered with PTSD. His case is specially serious because, having lost her smiling emoticon and her sad emoticon, has not been able to communicate with his family. Experts at the center are giving her an experimental treatment to teach vocals and, in an advanced stage, the consonants.

The United States Congress has announced that it is working on a law regulating the activity of emoticons, for which it has formed a commission with happy, smiling, winker eyes, amazed and Cackling emoticons. On the sad, depressed and suspicious, an investigation is open and has asked major messaging applications that abolished until further notice.